The Comfy Cottage usually lived up to its' name, so assorted moans and
groans were not the sort of sound normally heard coming from it's comforting
rooms.  Various CotKers were nursing bruised bodies, and in at least one
case, mental anguish.

"We lost Nick's surcoat?  What are we gonna do?  He'll kill us, he will!"
wailed Kyer, frantic over the loss of the precious medieval antiquity.

"What's with the 'we', white man?" quipped Lisa.  "*We* didn't butt into a
dispute between the Knighties and the Nunkies Anonymous, and *we* didn't ask
Katrinka for the loan of the surcoat."

"Yeah - but that doesn't mean he won't kill us" replied La Countess, feeling
tired, sore and dispirited - this was only the second day of her first war,
and she was sure it wasn't really supposed to be this bad.

"Okay, I got an idea!" said Kezia, deciding this was a good time to put the
second part of her plan into action.  "You know that carrier bag I brought
with me, the one labelled 'Thorntons'?  Well, it contains six pounds of very
high quality Thornton's Continental Chocolate..."

"Chocolate fest!!!" yelled the rest of the CotKers, enthusiastically.

"No!!" Kez yelled back at them, only to wince at the way their faces fell
abruptly.  "I'll contact Sara at Merc HQ, and see about hiring a Merc or two
to locate the surcoat for us... but I'll only offer them five pounds' worth
of chocolate, and see if they bite... figuratively for now!  If they do, we
get a mini-chocolate fest out of it, too!"

General sounds of agreement greeted this suggestion.

"I'll go email her now.  But first...Kyer..."

The Fractured (and Frantic) Knightie jumped in the air at hearing her name
called in such ominous tones.

"Have you contacted KC yet about getting those garlic stains out of my
clothes?"

Kyer heaved a sigh of relief.   Was that all?

"Sure, already done.  Should be here anytime now!" she lied cheerfully ,
having forgotten all about it in the preparations for the visit to the loft.
"Tell you what, I'll go and phone KC now, and  see what's taking so long,
'kay?"

Kyer headed up to her room, and frantically hunted for the phone number that
would connect her with KC's super-secret phone line located in the
sub-basement of the NA Shrine.

"KC?  It's Kyer...  I need a favour....  You will?  I haven't even told you
what I want!  Look, Mr Spitz accidentally sprayed Kez's favourite party
outfit with garlic juice, and I figured you *have* to have a Snixco product
for dealing with garlic stains.   You have? Great!  I should have called and
asked about this earlier, but what with having Nick's surcoat stolen by a
Ratpacker...  You will?  How many helpers...  Well, those tunnels go on
forever, so the more, the merrier, I guess.  Just remember it's not very
clean down there - make sure you're all wearing protective clothing and so
on,huh?  Thanks, KC - I owe you one."

Meanwhile, Kezia had headed not up but down, to the computer room in the
Cottage basement,  to send out the dummy email pre-arranged with Sara, to
allow her to 'hire' a Merc she'd already hired - and using the special code
words to make sure the message didn't get intercepted by some over-eager
Merc waiting for their first ever job in their first ever war...

Soon, all (eight of ) the CotK were back in the Common Room, looking a lot
happier - even dressed in their oldest, most dispensable clothes,  ready to
go invade the RatPacker tunnels.  KC had kindly sent the Snixco Mango, Melon
and Guava Anti-Garlic Velour Shampoo over by Special Quick Snixco Express -
those who knew KC from past Wars were by this time getting a little nervous
about her generousity, not a quality they normally expected from this
particular follower of Nunkies.  And it had worked like a dream - now all
Kez had to do was wait for the dress and jacket to dry.

A quick stop off at Merc Central to deliver the five, one pound boxes of
Thornton's Continental Chocolate to Sara's welcoming arms, and they were off
to their rendevous with the NA team.

Little did Kyer realise it was also a rendevous with destiny...