This piece of fan fiction called "Hope" was a labor of love that was a
natural extension of a series that had not been as fully explored as it
deserved to be.

What bigger compliment can there be to a series than for devoted fans to
feel the undeniable need to perpetuate it through fan fiction.  What greater
enjoyment can a devoted fan have than to write about the characters they
adore, and for a brief time become a part of their lives.

For a series that never had higher than a PG rating for sexual content,
these classic episodes could never have been more sensual.  No "human"
character from any show has shown more emotions than did these creatures of
the night, who supposedly were soulless.

This story, if it took place, would be somewhere between the second and
third season, before Vachon, Tracy, and Reese showed up.  It will answer the
question of whatever happened to Daniel from "Father Figure."  Both Immortal
Beloved's and Nick and Nat packers should be satisfied.  Although Nicholas
stars in this production, of course, both LaCroix and Schanke have regularly
appearing roles.

Special heartfelt thanks to a talented "Forever Knight" fan and beta reader,
Debby, who took the time to turn my ideas into something readable.

To my husband, Neil, who not only introduced me to the computer, but
continues to help me every step of the way.  He also patiently read each
section as it evolved over the months.

Thanks to my family for putting up with me while I wrote, and for their
forgiveness in advance, for I will most likely do it again.

Archive Permission:  Permission to archive to Mel's FKFanfic Archive, and
the FK FTP site IS GRANTED.  All others must ask permission.

Disclaimers:  The Forever Knight characters belong to Columbia Tri/Star.  No
copyright infringement is intended.  This story and all other characters are
copyrighted by me.

Please send all comments to a very nervous first time writer at:
[email protected]

Part One
 

"Mr. Knight, Mr. Knight.  You have to leave now while we prep her.  Don't
worry, she'll be fine.  If you'll just follow me, I'll show you where you
can wait."

Nicholas stared at the young girl who was calling his name.  She was
smiling, and talking softly as she tried to get Natalie into a more
comfortable position.  He really did not want to leave, especially with a
nurse who must have attended her prom last week.  Nicholas looked at Natalie
with pleading eyes hoping that she would insist to the nurses that it was
absolutely necessary that he not leave her side.  Natalie looked to be on
the verge of collapse, but she managed a weak smile.

"Nick, please listen to the nurse.  I'll be all right, and I'll see you in a
little while."

Nicholas couldn't believe it.  How could Natalie agree with this child?  She
had to be delirious from the medication.  He went to the edge of the bed,
and reached in between the side rail bars for her hand.  He wrapped his hand
around hers, but mostly he was touching the IV tube which was covered in
white adhesive tape.

"Nat, I'll be right here.  I will not leave you."

He could feel his heart beat a couple of extra times.  He could not remember
a time when he was as frightened.

Glaring at Nicholas, the young nurse was becoming more frustrated by the
minute.

"Please Mr. Knight, you are in the way, and don't disturb the IV tube."  She
hurriedly went around the bed, and re-checked Natalie's IV.  " I am leaving,
and you are coming with me."

Nicholas released Natalie's hand, and stepped back to get a better look at
this incredibly obstinate child who was somehow in charge.  He reminisced
about how he used to handle such frustrating annoyances.  Wondering if he
could just hypnotize her into leaving without him.  He would enjoy just
having her go take a nap about now..  In the past, he could drain someone
for a lot less.  Natalie began to moan, and that put an end to his nostalgic
daydreams.  Natalie was in a lot of pain, but she was more concerned about
how Nicholas was handling not being in control.  They had made considerable
progress, and she could not have Nicholas lose it all in a moment of anger.

"Please Nick!  I need you to stay calm or you will be of no comfort to me."

Nicholas closed his eyes briefly, and took in a deep breath.  He knew he
could not let Natalie down.  Moving to the top of her bed, he bent over to
lightly kiss her forehead.

"I will be with you as soon as I can."  His words were calm and strong, but
his thoughts made it hard for him to fight back the tears.  He felt panic
begin to seize him.  'What if she did not make it?  He would be nothing
without her.  Had there ever been a time when he was this helpless?'
Nicholas gently let the back of his hand slide down the side of Natalie's
face.  She glanced up towards him, but Nicholas could tell that she was
concentrating on the pain, and did not really see him.  He turned to follow
the young nurse from the room.  Nicholas did not look back as the door
closed behind him.  The hospital corridor was brightly lit, and almost
empty.  Their footsteps echoed from the tile floor and walls as they walked
to a nearby room.  The nurse opened a large wooden door, and ushered him
into a windowless waiting area.

"You can wait here.  I'll return when you can see her."

She walked into the hall leaving Nicholas alone to watch the door swing
closed behind her.  He stared at the door for a moment, then turned to
explore the room.  Walking over to one of the long rows of attached plastic
chairs, he sat down, but immediately jumped up when he thought he heard
someone coming.  He rushed to open the door, but there was only an orderly
walking by.  After slowly re-closing the door, he turned his attention back
to the room.  Feeling much too restless to sit again, he moved to where a
stack of old magazines lay on the table.  Mindlessly picking up each
magazine one at a time, and then replacing them to the table.  A television
that was suspended from the wall above his head was blaring the voice of an
offensive salesman.  The salesman was trying to sell the latest and greatest
screwdriver.  He reached up and located the on/off switch, and with great
satisfaction watched as the screen turned to black.  He was beginning to
feel like a caged animal.  Did they really expect him to just calmly wait at
this time?  Nicholas attempted to stop his incessant worrying, and sat down
hard on one of the chairs. Leaning his head back against the wall, he stared
at the ceiling.  There were no arms on the chairs, and his arms lay loosely
on his lap.  His thoughts began to race again, and he lifted one hand to
cover his forehead and eyes as he tried to remember how much his life had
changed in the past year.  He rubbed at his temple, it had been a while, but
he was sure that he was having a headache.  His head felt heavy, it was
filled with a kaleidoscope of scenes of recent events.  Listening to the low
hum of the vent above him, he sat motionlessly.  Outside the waiting room
door, he could hear the rushed voices of doctors and the sounds of beds and
carts being wheeled down the hall.  All the sounds blurred into the
background as he felt himself drift back to the time before all this
began...........

* * * * * * * *

He had slept very little that day.  Each time that he had dared to sleep he
would dream of Daniel, and his failed attempt to rescue him from the
eternity of darkness.  Over and over he recalled Daniel's innocent face as
he tried to hypnotize him into escaping.  As much as he treasured the idea
of being a parent, he knew that it was only one more sacrifice that was
added to the list when he had traded eternity for his soul a long time ago.
Daniel had been much too young when he crossed over to fully understand how
eternal life would destroy his youthful innocence.  In reality, there was no
way he could have changed Daniel's destiny.  The moment Daniel was
discovered lurking in their residence, he was doomed to become their
possession.  The boy had been clever enough to charm Janette into taking him
in, and LaCroix found him to be an interesting diversion at that moment in
time.  He had to admit that he was also taken by this child, who appeared to
have no other family to care for him.  In fact Daniel had been so
refreshing, that he failed to see that Daniel's fate had already been sealed
by LaCroix, and his efforts were too late.  Janette's needs to feel motherly
along with his own desires prevented them from seeing the jealousy from
which LaCroix hatched his plan. LaCroix knew that all of Daniel's innocence
would be destroyed as a vampire. He also knew that all his mortal
fascination would be diminished by his first hunger.  To LaCroix this would
be a no lose situation.  He would present Janette with an immortal child
which she adored, and wipe away Nicholas's love for this child at the same
time by turning him into a monster.

Nicholas cringed as he vividly remembered the image of Daniel proudly baring
his new found fangs to him.  Somehow LaCroix had managed to hunt Daniel down
only to claim him for his experiment in eternal youth.  An experiment of
which he would soon tire, and leave for Nicholas to clean up.

Nicholas could not shake the memories of Daniel from his conscious state
either, as he closed the Caddy's door, and leaned heavily against the car's
body.  He could see Schanke pulling his car into the almost deserted parking
lot in front of the Coroner's office.  Nicholas was impressed at the speed
with which Schanke had arrived, for he had called the loft from the
precinct, less than 30 minutes ago.  Everyone wanted to see this crime
solved rapidly. Murder was difficult enough to accept particularly when a
young child was involved.  This total disregard of youth, and this
destruction of innocence was the reason his subconscious was dredging up
visions of Daniel.  He tried to rub the weariness from his eyes, and when he
looked up he could see that Schanke had spotted him and was on his way over
to greet him.

Schanke was out of breath by the time he reached Nicholas's car.

"Hey Knight, why did you park so far away?  Did you have trouble finding a
parking spot?"  Schanke laughed sarcastically.

"I, for one, found a great spot right up front.  Hey, why do you think that
the morgue's parking lot is so empty in the middle of the night?  Isn't this
the hottest night spot in town?"

He closed his eyes, but when he re-opened them Schanke was still there with
that same familiar smirk on his face.

Nicholas sighed , "I thought I was still having a bad dream, but I guess
not. Is there any reason why you had me meet you here tonight?"

Schanke just smiled at Nick's comments and pulled out his notebook.

"Yes there is a reason to give you a few extra moments with your favorite
Medical Examiner.  Natalie called and said that she might have something on
that Hathaway case that we could use.  She said to call you, and that we
should both get here as soon as possible.  So sorry if I disturbed your
beauty sleep, and by the way you sure look like you could have used it."

Nick rolled his eyes, then brought his forehead down into his hand and made
one more wipe across his eyes.

"You are right Schank, I really did not rest thinking about this case.
Let's go see Natalie, and hopefully wrap this up."

A light rain began to fall as the two detectives made their way across the
darkened parking lot.

Nicholas startled slightly as the bright florescent lights of the Morgue
assaulted him as he entered first with Schanke right behind him.  Going from
the deep darkness to the cold and artificial lighting was always stressful
on his sensitive night vision.  This drastic change of lighting was as
difficult to him as staring at the sun was to a mortal.  He blinked several
times while trying to adjust to the instant artificial daylight.  He looked
back, and noticed that even Schanke was having trouble adjusting to the
brightness.

Nick pushed open the inner door to the morgue, and saw Natalie typing at the
computer.  She swung around and smiled at the detectives.

"Hi Guys, well I think I got your first lead.  I ran a complete blood serum
analysis, and I found traces of GHB in her blood.  I almost missed it with
all the alcohol she consumed.  The alcohol tends to break down the chemical
composition and makes it difficult to identify."

Schanke's pained expression faded into a quizzical expression, "GH - what?"

Natalie stood up, and walked over to where Schanke was standing and looking
very confused.

She took a deep breath and explained, "GHB or gamma hydroxybutrate acid,
Schank.  It's a drug that renders its victims helpless, though it usually is
not fatal in moderate amounts.  You can't go into your neighborhood
pharmacy, and pick this stuff up.  Whoever did this probably mixed the
chemicals himself, but he sure gave her enough to make sure that she didn't
wake up. She was probably so out of it that she never knew she was raped."

Schanke leaned back against the cold tiled wall. "Guess that is one bright
spot."

Natalie raised her eyebrows as she looked at Nick then back to Schanke,
"Well, I don't know.  It is also what poisoned her.  It is called the
date-rape drug."

Natalie folded her arms across her chest, and bit her bottom lip.  Schanke
stopped leaning against the wall and straightened himself as his anger grew.

"Do you mean this guy poisoned a child so he could have his way with her?  I
call that cheating!  What kind of a loser...."

Nicholas who had been silent until now interrupted Schanke and with
bitterness in his voice he said, "Not a loser Schank, a killer!, and we
better find him before he tries this again."

Schanke just stood stunned as Nick began to turn to leave.  Natalie took a
closer look at Nicholas, and realized how tired he appeared.  She reached
over to Nicholas and put her hand on his shoulder causing him to turn back
towards her.

"You look terrible Nick, have you been getting enough rest?"

Nick smiled at her concern, and Schanke decided to wait in the hall as
Natalie consoled Nick.

Nicholas smiled warmly at Nat, "I have had a lot on my mind recently, and I
think this new case just stirred up some bad memories."

Natalie studied Nicholas for a moment trying to figure out what moment in
his long life had been touched by this crime.  Going closer to Nicholas, she
whispered, "Are there any good memories?"

Nicholas smiled at her obvious insight into his past.  "Yes there are good
memories too, starting with the day I met you here."

Natalie blushed, but immediately regained her demeanor, "That reminds me
Nick, you are due for some follow up tests.  I have been meaning to come by
and get some samples of your blood and tissue.  You know the usual."

Nick reached over and took Natalie's hand in his, "If you want to stop by
the loft after your shift, I think I will be able to accommodate you."

Schanke poked his head through the door, and loudly cleared his throat,
"Ahem Knight, time to bid your fair maiden ado."

* * * * * * * *

Returning to the loft, never felt so good.  What was needed now was at least
twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep.  Pulling his body up the stairs towards
the loft's bedroom, he wondered if flying would take less energy.  Too tired
to feed, he peeled of his jacket, and threw it over the chair near the bed.
The thought of changing into something more comfortable to sleep in, was
exhausting to him.  Falling onto the bed, he let each tired muscle relax as
he closed his eyes.

"I can't stand by and see you hurt.  You have to go..  Your life is in
danger, Daniel."

Daniel did not understand why Nicholas had changed his mind about him
staying with them.  He was hurt that he again was no longer wanted.
Nicholas could see the pain in Daniel's eyes as he pleaded with him to stay
with his new family.  There was no way to explain to Daniel what LaCroix was
considering doing to him.  There was also no time to explain.  If Daniel was
to escape, he must do it now while the sun was still high in the sky.  The
sun would give Daniel the time needed to find a new place to live before the
cover of darkness would allow LaCroix an opportunity to steal his soul.
Daniel had no idea how difficult this was for him.  In the few short weeks
that Daniel had been a part of their lives, he had come to love him as a
son.  If only LaCroix did not wish to raise the stakes.  If only LaCroix
would allow Daniel to live with them as a mortal in peace.  No, LaCroix had
no desire to have a mortal around for long, and he certainly did not want a
mortal around that gave himself and Janette so much pleasure.  The time was
growing shorter, and Nicholas knew that despite the pain that the both of
them felt over Daniel's departure, there would be no convincing Daniel of
the unseen danger in staying.  He picked up Daniel's heartbeat, and with all
his strength he repeated his warning.

"You want to leave this house, Daniel"

"You want to run!"

"You want to run for your life!"

Daniel had understood his words through the hypnosis.  Although confused, he
knew what he must do to be safe.  Nicholas pointed towards the door, and
without any further protest Daniel escaped into the daylight.  The pain of
seeing Daniel leave tore at what he imagined was left of his empty soul.  He
knew this relationship could never be.  Had he been wiser, he would never
had allowed Daniel to become a part of his life in the first place.  Though
the loss seemed great, he knew that everyone including Daniel, would be
better off living their own lives.  At that moment Nicholas heard the heart
wrenching cries of Janette who with LaCroix had witnessed Daniel's
departure.

"Daniel!"

"Daniel!"

"Where is he?"

He had considered Janette's reaction, but the welfare of Daniel had to come
first.  He was sure that Janette would not see over her own selfish desire
for the child.  He was not even sure if it was she that advised LaCroix to
bring Daniel across.  As much as this hurt her, he was certain that later
they would agree that freeing Daniel was the best way to proceed.  He
quickly went to the window, and carefully drew back the heavy curtains just
enough to make a tiny opening.  Watching as Daniel vanished out of sight
into the daylight, he then turned back to Janette and LaCroix.  His words
were harsh and firm, "He's gone."

Nicholas stirred restlessly in his sleep, and awoke abruptly to brush the
blood sweat from his forehead.  He had been asleep for less than an hour,
and it was still early in the morning.  If he did not rest soon, he would
not be able to function.  It was important to be at his best to catch this
murder who felt a child was no more than a toy to be played with and then
discarded. Just as LaCroix had done with Daniel.  Maybe if this case was
solved, he could get Daniel off his mind.  It was still raining outside, it
had been very overcast before he had gone to bed.

Nicholas got out of bed and slowly walked down the stairs towards the
kitchen.  A deep hunger stirred within him, and he went quickly to the
kitchen to find some blood in which to calm himself.  He stopped and stared
at the refrigerator debating on whether or not to satisfy the beast.  He
hesitatingly opened the door, and emerged with a corked green bottle in his
hand.  He gazed at the bottle for a few moments, then lifted it towards his
face.  He held the bottle against his face, allowing the coolness of the
bottle to wake him.

Thoughts of the dream of Daniel returned, as he made his way to the window.
Nicholas picked up the remote, and he pushed the button that allowed the
blind on the window to open halfway.  The rainstorm had made it appear as
night outside, and Nicholas was able to stand by the window without fear of
the light.  He watched as the rain fell on the cars and the buildings as he
lifted his bottle to drink.  Removing it from his mouth only after it had
been emptied it of all its contents. Laying the empty bottle against the
window, he watched as the storm strengthened in force. A prisoner in his own
home.  Imprisoned by daylight, encircled in a cage without bars, yet just as
inescapable.

While watching the occasional stray raindrop bounce against the window's
glass, Nicholas contemplated the life of the young vampire child.  Too young
to understand his own mortality, and too immature to make decisions
regarding eternity.  Even he, as a man in his thirties, had not fully
contemplated all that eternity would require of him.  When he chose to live
as a vampire, he had never considered the lives of countless victims.
Victims of his insatiable hunger.  A tear rolled down Nicholas's cheek, and
then another.  He saw his reflection in the dark glass, and watched as the
raindrops slid down the glass.  His own tears seem to mirror that of the
rain.  'Daniel if only you had chosen another home in which to take shelter
from the bombs, how differently things would have turned out.'

The storm began to pick up again, and the raindrops beat hard against the
glass.  The view from Nicholas's window blurred, and he placed his hand
against the glass as if to touch the rain.  He slowly slid his hand down the
smooth surface of the glass, as if to clear it.  The view of the street
below had all blurred like an abstract painting.  The car's headlights and
the traffic lights in the distance added light and color throughout the
framed picture that was his window.  The heavens were crying for the
vampire's victims, as was he.

No, Daniel had no idea what lay in store for him the night he chose to hide
in their home.  'Why Daniel, why did you have to find that house?' Nicholas
was still clutching the remote with his other hand, and he pressed the
button to close himself off from the world.  The empty bottle began to fall
as the blind came down.  Nicholas caught it only to take it and throw it
hard against the fireplace.  If only he had gotten to Daniel before LaCroix.
  More regrets, and now he was so tired.  He would soon be hallucinating,
and then he would be no good to any one.  The broken glass would wait until
tonight, he had to get some sleep.

He recalled Natalie's call just before he had fallen asleep.  She had
planned on seeing him before he slept, but the test results she had been
working on had been misplaced, and now she wouldn't be dropping by until
evening.  After Natalie's call, he had gone directly to bed, something he
was about to attempt again with better results he hoped this time.  The rain
was slowing now, and he was having trouble thinking straight.  Sleep would
come quickly now, he only hoped it would come without dreams of Daniel.

* * * * * * * *

Nicholas opened his eyes, and with tremendous relief realized that he had
slept peacefully through the day.  Finally, the much needed sleep had come.
Although the blinds were tightly closed, he could feel that it was well
after sundown.  With the refreshing sleep came the confidence that he could
now handle the crime that was destroying his mental stability.

Nicholas went to shower and got ready for Natalie's arrival.  After the
shower he rushed to dress.  It was important that everything looked great
when Natalie arrived. Running, he saw Natalie just as she was getting off
the elevator.  He had overslept, and had no time to make the loft look its
best. It was dark, and he rushed to put on some lights.  As Natalie took her
first step out of the elevator, Nick turned towards her and couldn't help
but smile. She was his only reason to smile, she was his sunshine in all the
darkness. Natalie walked over to the dark leather sofa, and placed her
medical bag on the floor.  As she removed her raincoat, she glanced around
the room.

"Are you all right, Nick?  I've been trying to call you for the last hour."

Natalie looked concerned," The last time I saw you, you looked so worn out.
I was...."

Natalie stopped in mid sentence when she saw the broken glass in the
fireplace.  "Ah Nick, is there something you want to talk about?"

He gave Natalie a confused look until he noticed where she was looking.  He
rushed over to the fireplace, and began to gather the pieces of green glass.

"It's not what you think Nat, I was going to to clean all this, but I sort
of ran out of time.  Well, maybe it is what you think, but I'm really much
better now.  Nat?  Are you listening?"

Natalie was calmly listening to Nicholas ramble about the broken bottle.
She was trying to figure out why he was over reacting about something as
trivial as breaking a bottle.

"It's fine Nick, really it's fine.  I'm glad you are feeling better now ."

Natalie was shaking her head, and grinning at Nicholas's awkward attempts at
picking up the glass.  She walked over just as one of the broken pieces he
held in his hand cut his finger.  Nick looked distressed as he lifted his
cut finger to his mouth.

"Nick, Nick"

Natalie tried to get his attention away from his rapidly healing wound.

"Do you have a dust pan around here?"

Nick almost jumped straight up.

"Yeah, I do, I'll get it."

Nicholas was back in a moment with the dust pan in his hand, and he started
to unsuccessfully sweep the glass into the pan.  Natalie just grinned and
shook her head as she found it difficult to comprehend how a man could live
for 800 years, and not know how to clean up broken glass.  Natalie tapped
Nick on the shoulder.

"Can I do this please?  I would like you to have some blood left for my
samples."

Nicholas handed Natalie the dust pan feeling very embarrassed.  He watched
as Natalie cleared away the mess in a few quick sweeps.  When she was done,
Natalie stood up feeling satisfied with her work.

"I'll be right back as soon as I empty this.  Go and have a seat by my bag."

Nick decided to let Natalie run this show.  Things were not exactly working
out as he had planned.

Natalie appeared suddenly behind him, "Nick, do you know that it has been
over a year since you had a complete work-up?  The last time was right
before the Litovuterine B. I'll need to know if anything has changed."

Nicholas had intentionally been putting this official medical visit off for
some time now.  Natalie was grasping at straws in her search for a cure.
For four years he had been cutting down on his blood consumption and
drinking protein shakes to compensate.  He had swallowed garlic pills, and
spent time using tanning beds.  At times he felt he had given Natalie enough
blood samples to start her own vampire blood bank.  After all these attempts
only one thing remained clear -- he was still a vampire, and mortality was
as unattainable a dream as ever.  Nicholas decided that now was a good time
to talk to Natalie about being less active or even stopping this pointless
pursuit.

"Listen Nat, we have been taking samples and running tests for how long now?
I have not changed, I still drink blood."  Natalie began to protest, but
Nicholas held up his hand and she backed down.  "I still get sick when
exposed to garlic, and crosses are barely tolerable.  Oh yes, and the sun.
Well, they still have not developed the sun block that will allow me to be
in the sun without setting off smoke detectors for miles around.  In other
words, I am still a vampire, and I have made little progress, if any, since
we first began."

Natalie looked solemn, and she felt as if her heart were broken.  Picking up
her medical bag, she walked to where Nicholas was sitting and sank down
beside him.  She clutched her bag as if it were a life preserver, that kept
her from sinking.

"Nick, are you saying that you want to give up?  You are the only one who
can make that decision.  I told you back when we began that I would help in
your return to mortality, but you have to want it.  All the tests and
experiments are meaningless unless this is something that you really want."
Natalie turned her head away from Nick.

Turning towards Natalie, he placed his hand beneath her chin, gently guiding
her face back towards him.  Natalie raised her tear filled eyes and looked
deeply into Nicholas's blue eyes.  She searched his face, and tried to probe
his expression with hope that it would reveal that her worst fears were not
coming true.  She couldn't believe it.  Was this the end of their quest?
Maybe he had had enough of false hopes and failures.  How many times can one
have their hopes dashed?  He probably wanted to quit long ago, and she just
hadn't seen beyond her own selfish motives.  She knew the real reason she
desperately strove to help him to become mortal.  It was for herself.  So
she could be with him without the fear of him hurting her.  She wanted a
chance for a life with him.  His quest had somehow become her quest for a
life with him.  Now, he wanted to stop, and he had every right.  He was
correct, they were not getting anywhere.  What did she expect?  That he
would go on indefinitely without positive results?  Indefinitely -- what was
she thinking? It would only be a few more years, at the most, before he
would need to leave anyway.  All was hopeless, and she knew it.  Now it
seemed that Nick knew it too.  A tear rushed down the side of Natalie's
face, and Nicholas rapidly whisked it away.  Nick removed the medical bag
from Natalie's protective grasp, and coaxed her closer until he was holding
her tightly in his arms.  She was not crying outwardly, in fact she was dead
silent.  The pain of this quest ending was numbing her.

She had never felt more empty, more alone.  She silently wondered if a knife
had been pushed through her heart, and she just hadn't died yet?  She wasn't
sure she was breathing, and she consciously took in a breath.  Everything
seemed unreal as she struggled to take in another breath.  She felt afraid
to move.  Nicholas was holding her now, but when he let go she feared that
he would tell her that he was through trying.  She was certain he was about
to tell her that he could no longer go on this way.  He might even be
considering moving on.  She always knew that could happen without warning,
but she was good at managing to not think about that as a possibility.  How
would she handle what was to come next?  She had no back up plan, she would
be devastated.  Natalie vigorously clung to Nicholas.  She was afraid that
if she let go she may never regain this closeness again.

Nicholas was trying to help Natalie in the only way he could think of, by
letting her know that he was there for her.  She was holding on to him so
tightly, that he was glad that he did not need to breath regularly.  Not
that he minded, in fact, her closeness was very comfortable to him.  Surely
she had recognized the fact that they had not gained any ground for a very
long time. There had been no permanent advances towards a cure.  This road
she had been traveling down with him, was going nowhere.  As a scientist,
wasn't she aware that there were times to stop and re-evaluate the
procedures?  Since he had never heard of a vampire who had regained their
mortality, maybe at this time there was no more that could be done.  It was
not fair to ask Natalie to accomplish the impossible.

Nicholas gently pulled away from Natalie.  She looked so vulnerable as she
gazed down at the floor.

"Natalie, you have been so quiet.  What is wrong?  Surely, I have not said
anything that you do not already know?  I am only saying that what we are
doing now is not working.  I guess that I have been a vampire for so long,
that I don't know how to be anything else.  Natalie, Nat - Please - what
would you have me do?"

With apprehension, Natalie looked up at Nicholas's willing and understanding
face.  She swallowed hard.

"I can't give up Nick.  You mean too much to me.  If I stop trying,
everything will slip away."

Nick looked bewildered as he repeated, "Everything will slip away?  Nat, you
are not making sense.  What will slip away?"

Just then Natalie seemed to renew her strength, and she began to talk
excitedly.

"I can help you Nick, but you got to want it.  You have to trust me."

Nicholas was becoming concerned, "I trust you.  You know that.  I have
trusted you with the knowledge of what I am."

Natalie took a deep breath.

"Then give me a little more time.  Are you sure that you want mortality
without any reservations?"

"Yes, without reservations."

Natalie felt hope return.  "I just need a small amount of time.  Will you
give me that?"

Nicholas stood up and walked thoughtfully over to the window.  He spotted a
small piece of green glass that Natalie had missed.  So much anger had
caused him to throw that bottle.  Anger over what he was, and what he
thought he could never be.  Anger over all the suffering the beast that held
him prisoner had brought to this world.  Whatever he was, he knew it was
time to accept it. It seemed that Natalie however was not yet ready to
accept what he was.  If Natalie wanted to try a little longer, than he would
not stop her, but eventually both of them would have to come to terms with
what he was. Nicholas turned to an anxious Natalie.

"Yes Nat, a little more time if you feel that you need it."

Natalie sighed in relief.  Nicholas only hoped that Natalie would be able to
accept him if he could not change.

Nicholas's telephone and Natalie's beeper simultaneously broke their
silence, and Nicholas went to answer the phone.

"Yes Captain, she's here.  I'll tell her.  Okay.  I'll stop there first..
Thanks Captain, and let Schanke know that I'll meet him there."

Nicholas put down the telephone, and turned to Natalie.

"It looks like that date-rape murderer has found another victim.  The
Captain wants us both at the scene as soon as possible."

End Part One

Onto Part Two!