Part 6
                              ******************

Nicholas was frustrated that he was stuck remaining in his loft while he should
have been on his way to see LaCroix about all the strange incidents that were
happening to him.  He glanced out the window to see if Nat had arrived, and was
parking her car.  Still not here, and soon it would be too late to get to the
Raven before work.  This was Tracy's doing.  Somehow, she had managed to
convince him that he should be trying to assist Nat work out some problem that
she imagined existed.  If Tracy only knew that the real problem sat next to her
in the car as they went about their work.  After last night he couldn't be
certain that he would not turn on her as well, and this time there may not be
any bus to save her.

Walking towards the kitchen, he threw away the empty bottle he had just
drained, and went to get another.  It would be much better for Nat if he was
well fed before she arrived.  Really wishing that he could be out driving and
thinking, he decided to do the next best thing that helped him sort out his
thoughts.  Walking towards the piano, he took a long drink from the bottle, and
placed its remainder on top near the half burned down candle.  Leaning against
the piano, he lifted the candle and blew softly at it.  Its flickering
entertained him, and caused him to smile.  What sport to play with his enemy,
so small and powerless on the wick it danced.  How dangerous an adversary for
the vampire.  One of the few true ways to end his eternity.  Blowing at the
flame again, he glowed over his mastery of this destructive force.  A wave of
dizziness swept across him, and he put down the candle and picked up the bottle
to stay his hunger.  After finishing the second bottle, he unsteadily moved
towards the piano's bench and sat down.  Closing his eyes, he allowed his mind
to put in order all the bizarre occurrences that had been happening as he
became absorbed in the sound of each note that his fingers stroked.  The sounds
surrounded him as his fingers came down heavily on the keys.  Stopping abruptly
and opening his eyes, he turned to see Nat walking towards him slowly clapping
her hands.

"Very, very dramatic!  It's not often I can get up here without you knowing
about it."

"I guess I was distracted.  I wanted time to think."

Removing her raincoat caused him to rise, and reach for it.

"No, please continue playing.  It was beautiful."

"Some other time.  I was hoping that we would be able to talk."

With a suspicious glance, she folded her coat over her arm.

"Sure, we can talk."

Walking towards her, he removed the coat from her arm to hang it up.

"Did it start to rain again?  Your coat is dripping."

She looked exhausted as she spoke in a worn out voice.

"Does the rain ever stop?  I can't remember the last time I've seen the sun."

Placing her hand over her mouth, she couldn't believe that she had said
something so thoughtless.

"Oh Nick, I'm so sorry."

After hanging up her coat, he walked towards her and smiled.

"It's okay Nat. Yeah, it has been a little while for me too.  But I do believe
that you are the first to apologize for saying it."

He pulled her into his arms, and playfully hugged her.  Then pulling away, he
gestured towards the sofa.

"Let's sit down for a moment."

Leaving his embrace tore at her heart.  Couldn't they linger just a few seconds
longer?  The need to have him near was so great now that the brief show of
affection was far too inadequate in satisfying her.

Watching Natalie turn away and move towards the sofa, he noticed the sadness
that Tracy had mentioned.  She was different.  There was something missing. Her
enthusiasm and passion was absent.  But her beauty had not diminished. The
flowing white skirt and white blouse made her appear angelic as she slid onto
the sofa and waited for him to join her.

Thunder grumbled as the storm became more intense.  Flashes of light began to
reach into every dark corner of the loft.

Moving to be by her side on the sofa, made him dizzy, and he almost lost his
balance while sitting next to her.  Steadying him, she placed her hand on his
forehead.

"What's wrong, Nick?  Do you need to feed?"

Looking over, he shook his head as he tried to focus on her through blurred
vision.

"No, that's not it!  I had more than enough, but you're right, I do feel the
need to feed."

All at once he pushed her back and yelled.

"GET OUT!  NOW!"

Determined to help, she helped herself back up and rushed to the refrigerator
to quickly remove a bottle to bring him.

"I won't go.  Let me help you."

Handing him the bottle, she watched as he grabbed for it with shaking hands.
Holding her breath, she saw him empty the bottle in a moment and let it drop to
the floor.  She stared anxiously at him watching for any signs that he had
repressed the vampire by feeding it.  Seeing that his breathing seemed to be
regulated, she again approached him.

"Are you all right?"

Reaching to touch him, she jumped as the thunder and lightning simultaneously
tore through their silence.  Again the lights dimmed, then the loft lost all
power.  Only the one candle burned on the piano.  The loft became hauntingly
dark as the candle threw shadows into the darkness in between the flashes of
lightning.

Snatching her arm, he pulled her down onto the area carpet.

"Nick, What are you doing?"

"Shhh my love.  I can make you immortal.  We will be together forever."

"Nick, you're scaring me."

"Do you trust me Alyssa?"

"Alyssa?"

Struggling to get out from underneath him, she pushed at him with all her
strength.  He sweetly kissed her on the lips and cheeks.  Natalie broke away
enough to get some air.

"Nick, I'm not Alyssa.  Let me go!"

Smiling he covered her mouth with his, and kissed her deeply over and over
again.

"Close your eyes, and give yourself to me."

Grabbing at her blouse, he pulled it down hard over her shoulder, and began to
lick and kiss her neck, tasting her, relishing her.

"No Nick!  I'm not ready!"

She fought fiercely as Nick closed his eyes then reopened them to her.  They
looked as though they were burning.  Long fangs emerged as he continued to kiss
her.  Still screaming, she helplessly watched as his head reared back to
strike.  Thunder blasted into a deafening roar, and startled him for an
instant.  This was the moment she needed.  She caught him off guard, and
knocked him off balance.  Running for the door, she tripped over something in
the dark, and cried out in pain and fear.  Sitting on the floor, Nick tried to
clear his head as he glanced across the room and saw Natalie on the floor near
the elevator door.  Thinking that she was hurt, he rushed to her, and helped
her up.  She surprised him by greeting his help with her cries and violently
swinging out at him.

"Stay away from me!  Let me go!"

Pulling her close, he tried to soothe her.

"Nat, calm down.  What's wrong?"

Stopping to verify that it was the normal Nick that was near her, she took in a
deep breath and started to settle down.  Feeling frustrated and angry, she
slapped his upper arm with enough force to make him realize that she meant
business.

"What's wrong with you?  And who's Alyssa?"

Shamefully, he looked down at the condition of Nat's clothes.

"What happened Nat?"

"Don't you remember?"  She was still out of breath, but was calming down.

"No. You have to tell me what happened."

"Fine, but do you mind if we discuss this while I'm closer to the door?"

The pain of falling caused her to rub at her now bruised knee.  Nick watched,
and appeared to be in more pain than she was.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, but you sure scared the hell out of me."

"I'm sorry Nat. We can discuss this wherever you feel safe."

"Well I don't know if that's possible.  You're pretty fast and strong."

An involuntary reflex caused her to jump when he reached over to touch the spot
where her blouse was torn, and he cringed.

"What did I do to you?"

"I think you were trying to bring me across, and you called me Alyssa."

"Oh G-d!"

"Who's Alyssa?"

"Nat, you may want to sit down for this."

Nodding, she let Nick guide her to the kitchen table where he lit a few more
candles, and handed her a wooden stake.  They sat at opposite ends of the
table.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm giving you a fighting chance to protect yourself.  Use it if this happens
again."

"You've got to be kidding."

He stared at her intently without saying a word.

"You're not kidding are you?  What is happening with you?"

"I don't know.  I was hoping LaCroix might be able to help me with some
answers.  Tell me everything that just happened, it may help."

She sighed, "Okay, let's see.  You looked as if you were about to fall, so I
helped you regain your balance.  I thought that you might need to feed, so I
brought you a bottle.  After you finished it, you grabbed my arm and pulled me
down to the floor.  You didn't seem to know who I was.  It was as if we were in
a different place, a different time."

"Did I say anything besides calling you Alyssa?"

Remembering she said, "Yeah, you said something about making me immortal.  You
told me to give myself to you."

Nick stood up and tightly closed his eyes as if he were in pain.

"I could have killed you."

"But you didn't."

"This time."

"I don't believe that.  You would never hurt me."

His glare cut right through her as he spoke.

" I may destroy you, and not even realize it.  I almost destroyed you as I did
Alyssa.  In the same way, and with the same words."

"Nick, who is Alyssa?"

"She was my wife almost 450 years ago."

His words became harsh, and filled with bitterness.

"I killed her on our wedding night while trying to make her immortal.  And now
I almost repeated the same thing with you."

"Your wife?  You were married?"

"It wasn't for long.  Remember until death do you part?"

Thoughtfully, she repeated her own words.

"You were married."

"I've lived a long time, Nat. There is so much that you do not know about me."

"Did you love her?"

"Yes, I loved her then."

"But she died when you tried to make her immortal.  Why?  Why didn't it work?"

"I took too much.  She trusted me, and I destroyed her in return."

Watching him caused her to feel his anguish.

"I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago."

"Why are you thinking about her now?"

"She came to me last night, and asked me to join her.  She said that I would be
redeemed if I went with her."

"Go with her?  You would have to ........"

"It would mean my death."

A frightened incredulous laugh escaped from Natalie.

"Nick, you're not considering this?  What am I saying?  Of course you're
considering this.  You think that this is your redemption.  Don't you?"

"She said I would be able to be with her, but it would need to be soon.  Nat, I
promised an eternity with her, and this might be my chance."

"No, you're wrong!  If she loved you, she would not ask you to die.  You must
be confused.  You were just now, you thought I was her."

"I lost control just now.  Something is wrong with me.  It is not the first
time.  It happened last night also."

"Well whatever is wrong is the same thing that is causing these illusions.
Alyssa doesn't want you to join her, she doesn't even exist."

"Nat what if this is my path to redemption?  This is what I've been working
towards for so long.  How could I turn away?"

"You will be redeemed, but not by a ghost.  It doesn't work that way.  It just
doesn't get handed to you.  It takes a long time, and a lot of hard work like
you're doing now."

"I used to think so too."

"Don't follow this ghost, Nick.  She wants your destruction."

"Maybe it's the only way I can atone for all the devastation I caused."

"No, your destruction will not accomplish anything.  Your redemption can not be
reached by cutting yourself off from everyone.  Promise me you'll not go with
her."

Smiling lovingly, he reached for her hand to hold.

"I have to see LaCroix, and you should not be around me until this is settled."

"Just tell me you'll talk to me before you do anything rash."

Moving even closer towards her, he gently pulled her up from her chair and into
his arms, but he made no response to her request.

End Part 6

                             ******************

Stepping out of the Caddy, Nick looked up into the sky.  The rain had
stopped, but clouds still moved swiftly across the darkened sky.  Three
teenagers pushed ahead of him on his way over to the Raven's doors.  If he
was ever in the mood to visit his father, tonight was not it.  The thought
of LaCroix's certain lecture made him shudder.  If he did not need some
answers so desperately, he would be running in the other direction.

The driving beat, of the rhythm of the Raven's music, could easily be heard
through the door as he stood outside and contemplated entering.  After
pulling open the door, he stood at the top of the stairs and made a quick
assessment of who was patronizing the establishment tonight.  The last
person he wished to explain his presence there to, was Tracy.  It wouldn't
be at all surprising to see her there.  After all, she still believed in
vampires, and she might be keeping an eye out for Vachon.  She always went
to him for help in solving some difficult cases.  The night that Divia had
attacked Vachon, had been erased from her mind.  But that he and other
vampires still existed, was left to her as a gift.  Tracy was left with only
the good to remember, his own way of preserving the memory of Vachon.

So many mortals tonight.  Between their most recent epidemic and Divia's
threats, the Raven seemed more like an average club than a refuge for
children of the night.  Walking down the stairs, he kept his eyes on the
crowd.  The vibrations from the few other vampires in the room, reached out
to him. Glancing in the direction of the sensations that assaulted him, he
realized instantly that he did not know them.  New vampires, young vampires.
  Their eyes followed him as he scanned the room searching out that one
vibration that was always with him.  The bond that had followed him into
eternity.

With no trouble, he spotted LaCroix in his sound room.  Watching his master
at the controls, he smiled.  How consistent in character for LaCroix to be
the one running the show.  How it suited him to be in control behind the
scenes. Always the one with all the controls easily within his reach.
Nicholas could tell that LaCroix was aware of his presence, and was in need
of his assistance, yet there was no hint of recognition from the elder
vampire as he began his broadcast.

"Good evening gentle listeners.  It seems that the storm has delayed our
evening chat.  But now that our connection has been resurrected, the
Nightcrawler would like to know - where were you when the lights went out?
You were being good, weren't you?  I am sure that none of you would take
advantage of such trying circumstances.  Although, should the opportunity to
sin present itself, would your humanity prevail?  A most interesting
question. When your evil inclination raises its provoking head, is it good
or evil that is victorious?  Which will be triumphant?"

"Which brings us to tonight's most fascinating topic.  The topic of evil.
When trying to understand evil, where does one start?  Well, what better
place to start than at the beginning.  How long did it take humanity to
acquire and demonstrate their evil?  Why not long at all really.  It seems
that the very first man and woman went out of their way to obtain this
characteristic.  They ate from a tree from which they were denied, and in
doing so transformed themselves and all succeeding generations to have the
attraction for evil. Their actions had them expelled from paradise, and made
them mortal.  They couldn't resist the temptation to taste of evil's
seductive charms.  To incorporate the knowledge of evil and to understand
and appreciate it.  By eating of this tree of knowledge they lost their
chance to partake of the tree of eternal life, and they and all that
succeeded gained a lifetime of everlasting struggle with this unrelenting
guest they so eagerly invited."

"The evil they gained was passed right along to the next generation.  Where
no time was wasted in committing the first murder.  What, my friends, is
evil to you?  We come from such a long heritage of evil.
So....much....evil.  Can the world ever rid itself of evil?  In order to
accomplish this, would we have to rid the world of ourselves as well?  Call.
  Let's discuss.  My my, a caller so soon.  You hardly waited for me to
finish.  Have you called to speak of an evil?  Is this an evil that was
committed to you?  Or one that you yourself have carried out?"

A deep but excited voice flowed through the connection.

"Nightcrawler?  There is true evil in the world, and it must be purged."

A barely noticeable smile crossed LaCroix's lips.

"Oh really, and who pray tell is to accomplish this feat?"

The deep voice became even more sincere.

"I am.  I know where the evil lives."

LaCroix's small hint of a smile converted into a wide grin, as he pulled
himself closer to the microphone.

"Then you must give me it's address, so I can invite it to come and chat
with us."

The man's sincerity turned to anger.

"You are mocking me about something that you do not understand."

Quickly becoming annoyed with this bothersome mortal, LaCroix's voice turned
vicious.

"No my friend, it is you who does not understand.  Go and fight your war
with yourself somewhere else."

Pressing the disconnect button, LaCroix reached over to connect his next
caller.

"I see we have another call.  This is the Nightcrawler, and what is your
evil?"

The telephone went dead in Andy's hand.  A loud irritating hum poured out of
the receiver, making him feel empty inside.  Glancing at the radio on the
shelf, he listened to the sound of the words of the man he was just speaking
to.  Slamming the receiver down, he then picked up the entire telephone and
threw it at the radio.  The wire was torn from the wall by the force in
which he threw it.  His head began to throb.  No one understood that this
pain had to stop.  The lightning had told him that it was up to him.
Tonight the time had once again come for the evil one to repay.  The
lightning that had struck the tree outside his window was proof that the
messages were for him.  How long and how hard he had prayed that his mother
would help him in his quest for peace.  But the peace did not come with the
first two's deaths, and with tonight's death of Lou Bagley he still had not
erased the pain.  The killing of this evil felt good for only the moment.
How he hoped for relief, but the memories still haunted him.  So much more
to be done, and he was the only one who could do it.  There had been some
relief by the death of this evil one. Maybe the pain had been eased for more
than a moment.  Yes, how wonderful the sounds of his victim's screams.  He
closed his eyes to savor it.  He wondered. Does a man yell louder than a
frightened child?  Trying to remember his past screams, hurt his head, and
he again held his ears tightly.  Was his victim's terror any worse than the
terror of his own that night?  What did they feel when they learned that
their redeemer was the helpless child of years ago who had returned to
reclaim what was so ruthlessly taken.  The storm was over, and now was the
time to wait.  Wait for the next signal from his mother.  Time to wait for
the lightning.

                              ******************

Listening to his Master's broadcast made Nick wonder why anyone would call
to be ridiculed for their beliefs.  It also made him wonder why LaCroix
wasted his time playing with the minds of these obviously disturbed callers.
  Then the thought struck him, that here he was patiently waiting for the
same opportunity to talk to him also.  Strange that it seemed so clear that
others should not be conversing with this unusual being, and that he should.
  Doubting his sanity about coming to LaCroix for help, his eyes never left
his father as he waited for his signal.

A small nod from LaCroix, and Nicholas knew it was a proper time for him to
approach his father.  There was no acknowledgment of his presence as he
closed the sound room's door securely, and approached his father.  There
would be only silence until the moment when LaCroix would feel it to be the
appropriate time to discuss matters.  Standing motionless before his father,
he watched and waited.  Finally, LaCroix looked up.

"I feel it my duty officer to inform you that all these power outages are
reeking havoc with my business.  Are you aware that it is only within the
last few minutes that I have been able to resume my broadcasts to your fine
citizens?"

Ignoring his sarcasm, Nicholas spoke up.

"LaCroix, I need your help."

"And here I thought you dropped by for a social call."

"Do you remember Alyssa?"

A surprised expression passed over his face.

"Your blushing bride?  Yes........  Wasn't it you who removed that blush
from her?  I couldn't help you then, and I certainly can not help you with
her now."

"LaCroix, something is wrong with me.  I'm sick."

"Nonsense!"

"I have been seeing Alyssa, and she has asked me to join her and be
redeemed."

"Really Nicholas, how far does your perpetual guilt go?  Is there no end to
it?"

"I have been losing control.  I almost attacked a stranger, and tonight I
nearly killed Natalie."

LaCroix turned to get a drink.

"And your problem is?"

"LaCroix, I need your help.  I can not go on like this.  I feel weak no
matter how much I feed."

He held up his glass of human blood to Nicholas.

"Maybe you should consider a change of diet."

"No, it's not the cow's blood that's the problem."

He placed the glass of bloodwine down on the desk, and stood up to face his
son.

"Are you certain of that?  You know we are not designed to derive benefit
from animal blood, Nicholas."

"Why would the cow blood bring up visions of Alyssa?"

"The cow blood is only weakening you, making you more vulnerable to your
pathetic guilty conscious."

Nicholas looked away from his father.

"Drinking human blood will not take away my guilt."

"Do you really want my help Nicholas?  Or do you just want me to tell you to
go to your dead wife and be redeemed?  Isn't that the only way you believe
you can be forgiven?  Are you asking my permission to die?  Is this shame of
yours that intense?"

Nicholas's voice was almost a whisper now.

"I can not change how I feel.  This has always been my belief."

"Is this a belief of the mind and the heart?  Is this an abstract concept
that drives you, or has it penetrated you to the core of your cold heart?
You don't know, do you?  Then I guess that the only way left is to die.  But
before you commence on this journey into the next world, ask yourself this.
Do you really believe that your G-d is interested in all your efforts?  Do
you believe that when you go on to the next life that you will stand side by
side with the righteous?  Or have you been standing too long in the wrong
path? Have you wondered if you have made peace with your Father in Heaven?
Have you merited G-d's pardon?  Or are you confusing eternal damnation with
salvation?"

Nicholas's voice now wavered as he felt his strength diminish.

"I was offered redemption.  Can you not understand my desire for
redemption?"

Sounding indignant, LaCroix's words became filled with contempt.

"Redemption?  Redemption from what?  What you do not understand Nicholas is
that you already have the redemption you seek.  You were redeemed by me the
night I brought you across.  There is no other world.  You have what all
mortals never even dare to dream of.  You need never die."

LaCroix stopped and waited for his son to make eye contact with him, and
then sighed and continued.

"So you presuppose the existence of another world beyond this one.  You
must, what else would explain why you would agree to sacrifice this world,
and all that is precious to you?  What are you looking for, Nicholas?"

Taking a breath, Nicholas looked seriously at LaCroix.

"I need to know that I will be accepted into the next world.  Alyssa has
come to bring me to that world."

The time to talk with restraint had ended as LaCroix became enraged.

"You are not mortal!  This is the only world!  We do not need a world
fabricated by mortals to ease their suffering during their pathetic
existence. How could you wish for this mortal redemption?  You, who can live
as a nobleman, with no fear of sickness or death.  You, who have lived the
life of royalty, who, has only dressed in elegant robes and never in the
rags of the peasant.  You Nicholas, have dwelled in carpeted and mirrored
palaces, and have had servants to do your bidding with the slightest wave of
your hand.  I have watched as you have partaken of only the best symphonies
which were produced by the most inspired and skilled violinists and
pianists.  These are the sounds that should be resounding in your ears, not
the preacher's call for redemption.  Redemption is a mortal folly.
Something that they created to tolerate their lacking, miserable lives.
Don't you see that redemption is their only way out of bondage?  We, who
live well and forever, have no such bonds.  I can understand that you are
intrigued by this unknown.  But it is no more than the attraction of a new
book or any unknown sensory impression.  It seems to me that your guilt and
your diet has brought you back to your true nature."

Closing his eyes as another wave of dizziness came over him, he extended his
hand to steady himself by holding onto the table that separated him from
LaCroix.  Seeing his son's trouble, LaCroix picked up the glass from which
he had been drinking, and handed it to Nicholas.

"Drink this if you want any chance to regain what you are now losing."

Holding the glass between two shaking hands, he struggled to bring the glass
to his mouth.  With his first swallow, a calmness filled him.  The weakness
began to diminish as the red liquid in the glass decreased.  Feeling
stronger, he looked up to LaCroix, and saw Alyssa standing in the reflection
of the sound room's glass window.  Startled, he released the glass from his
grasp, sending it crashing to the floor and shattering.  He pointed for
LaCroix to look and shouted.

"Behind you LaCroix, Alyssa is here!"

As LaCroix turned to look, Nicholas almost flew out the door.  Turning back
to where his son just stood, LaCroix shook his head.

"Nicholas, what have you done to yourself now?"

Placing another song on to play, LaCroix then traced his son's path into the
Raven's crowd.  Standing in the midst of mostly mortals, Nicholas
frantically turned in every direction.  LaCroix caught up with him as he
began to push aside the dancers as he made a path through the chaos.  Each
stared at him as he cast them aside, and yelled for them to move.
Violently, LaCroix seized his arm and turned him around.

"Nicholas, I will not tolerate this behavior.  You are making a spectacle of
yourself!"

Nicholas's voice rose even as he tried to control himself.

"I am not insane, LaCroix!  See for yourself!"

Separating two nearby mortals, he revealed the back of a young vampire who
was talking to another.  Dragging her closer, he spun her to face him.  He
pushed back her hood, and cried out.

"Reveal yourself!"

The music played on as the crowd scrutinized the blonde stranger who
silently glanced back at all the watchful patrons.  Feeling bewildered,
Nicholas turned back to face LaCroix who stared intensely back.

"This is more serious than I thought."

Turning away, the senior vampire made his way back to the sound booth,
leaving Nicholas surrounded by the crowd and his own confusion.  Returning
to his seat by the microphone, LaCroix stopped the music and switched on the
power to the microphone.

"I am back fellow listeners with these questions.  What does redemption mean
to you?  How will you know when you have achieved it?  Is it only through
death that we can truly learn if we have achieved our redemption?  And what
is it that we are looking for?  Absolution?  Or an ending?  Don't exchange
the real and lasting for a mirage.  Make sure that your perception has not
been tainted and that it does not veil the truth with desires that do not
exist."

LaCroix thought of Nicholas, and took a long breath before continuing.

"So tonight as we examine the haunting effects of guilt, we will ask to what
extent we will go in order to achieve atonement.  How many of you out there
believe that as long as a spark of life flickers in you that you can repair
your sinful ways?  And has this apprehension to always do what is right
brought out the best in you?  Or has it brought you to your knees, only to
have your guilt visit you incarnate?  Is sacrificing yourself the only way
to bring an end to your disturbing view of life?  Is your search for
redemption only another way for you to be haunted by your memories?  How far
will you go?"

Andy listened to LaCroix's words as he methodically scrapped the mud from
his shoes.  Redemption, how fitting a topic.  Smiling, he thought about how
much closer he was to fulfilling his pledge to make those responsible make
amends. He was the facilitator of redemption.

"How far will I go?  As far as I have to, Nightcrawler.  Until the lightning
tells me that the evil has been wiped away, and I will have my payment in
full.  This is the only way to my redemption, and to theirs."

End Part 7

                             ******************

Tracy waited anxiously for her partner to meet her at the Carnival.  Talk
about dij`-vu, she never thought that she'd be back investigating another
murder at the same place within 24 hours.  If only Nick would get there
already.  Where was he?  This was the second evening in a row that he was
late.  Reese was already inside pacing like a caged animal.  Not only had
one old friend of his been murdered, but now a third decorated fire fighter
had been discovered close to the same location.  Not only were these murders
personally rough on the Captain, but this could mean real trouble for him if
this case was not solved soon.  And by soon they meant yesterday.  Glancing
down the mud soaked road, she caught her first glimpse of the green car
coasting towards her.  Nick was surprised to see his partner waiting for him
in the parking lot, and not already involved with collecting the details.
Slowing the Caddy, he drove along side her, and rolled down the window to
talk.

"Hi Trace.  Do we really have another one?"

"By the way the Captain's acting, you'd think we had hundreds in there."

"I'm sorry I was late.  Why don't you get in, and we can try to park
closer."

"This is as close as it gets.  We have to use the regular parking lot.  The
owner doesn't want too much commotion.  He said it's bad for business.  Like
finding two dead bodies isn't a problem.  The park has power, and he won't
close down again.  The fire engines were only in there long enough to put
out the fire.  But everything has been secured, so we should get over there
before that changes too."

Easing the Caddy into a nearby parking spot, Nick took in a long cleansing
breath hoping to clear his clouded senses.  Although the air was heavy with
humidity, its scent was crisp and sweet.  Tracy accompanied him as they
walked towards the blaring carnival music and the multicolored spinning
lights that bordered the amusement rides.  The rain had finally ended, and
all the carnival goers impatiently waited in long lines at the rides and
exhibits. Most of the people paid only slight attention to the area that was
guarded and sectioned off as they approached.  Captain Reese was the first
to notice the two detectives approaching.

"Nice of you to join us, Nick.  I've been having them hold off on taking the
body away for almost an hour now."

He was so tired of lying, that he tried to think of the closest thing to the
truth he could come up with.

"Sorry Cap. I had something to do before my shift.  Fill me in.  How did
this happen in the same place twice?"

Reese rubbed one hand across his eyes, and shook his head.

"Now that is an interesting question.  It seems our killer was able to walk
in unnoticed with a body, and start a fire again."

Turning around to see all the police and fire fighters, Nick became
frustrated and his voice sounded irritated.

"This area was supposed to be secured.  This whole park should not be open."

Reese felt helpless as he watched his detective's frustration with the
situation.

"I don't have the authority to close him down, and by the look of things it
seems like most of the people don't care anyway.  I have gone over this a
thousand times, and I just can not figure out why someone would do this.
What's the motive?  You know a lot of the fire fighters are calling these
homicides the lightning murders.  Looks like our killer works during
electrical storms.  It's just become even less safe to be a fire fighter."

Trying to let his Captain's comments sink in, Nick glanced around at the
whirling carnival rides.  Almost mesmerized by the colored lights, he
watched as they appeared to melt together into long strips of glowing
strands that encircled and surrounded themselves in time to the beating
music.  All movements, from the crowds, turned into fragmented geometrical
shapes that seemed to want to reach out to him, and make him a part of their
bizarre world.  Shifting his sight away from the unusual optical illusions
that his mind was playing out for him, he tried to concentrate on the reason
he was there as he answered Reese.

"We'll find him Cap. He probably will not stop until we get him.  Is Natalie
still here?"

"She's still with the body.  See what you can do."

Both Nick and Tracy began to walk towards the building that had been
encircled with the yellow police tape.  Stopping at the entrance, they
looked up and then looked at each other.  Nick gestured for Tracy to enter
first.

"Horror ride, great.  Well Trace, ladies before gentlemen."

"Thanks, at least we have lights this time."

As soon as they walked in, they knew that they had gotten there with no time
to spare.  The forensic team and Natalie were almost through, and were
packing everything up to leave.  Wasting no time, Nick walked straight to
where Natalie was standing.

"Hi Nat, what have you got?"

"Well, besides a headache, I've got a fire fighter in his fifties with 3rd
degree burns to the face except for one eye.  Sound familiar?  And a single
gun shot wound to the head at close range, which with my best guess would be
a .22 caliber again.  Oh, one more thing.  I think you may remember this
guy. Take a look."

Turning towards the victim, Natalie unzipped the body bag on the gurney that
was waiting to be wheeled out.  A small gasp came from Tracy as she
recognized the face and gently whispered.

"Oh my G-d, it's Chief Bagley from last night."

Natalie nodded and re-zipped the bag as she spoke to Nick.

"Looks like someone is pretty motivated to destroy fire fighters.  Find him
Nick, find the person responsible."

Signaling for the body to be removed, Nat walked over to Nick and pulled him
off to the side.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, but not too stable."

"Try to hold on.  I'm working on your situation."

Following the morgue's assistants, Nat left the building with Nick watching
as she left.  If LaCroix was correct, about his problems being a
manifestation of his guilt and his diet, then there really wasn't much that
she was going to be able to do.  As soon at Nat left, Tracy re-joined her
partner.

"Did you get a chance to talk with her?"

Damn!  He had invited her over to discuss her problems, and only ended up
attacking her with his.  They never had the opportunity to talk about what
was bothering her, and now he told her to stay away from him.  He turned to
look into Tracy's anticipating eyes.

"No, not yet, but I will."  Casting a longing look at the door from which
Nat had just exited, he again tried to refocus his thoughts.

"Right now, we should look around here."

"Do you want to do that Nick?  I was hoping to talk with the manager.  One
of the workers told me that his name is Robert Lacey.  Maybe we are looking
at this all wrong.  Since two of the bodies were brought here, maybe this
guy is trying to close down the carnival."

Nick looked intently at his partner and replied.

"Or send a message.  Go and meet with him, and when I'm done I'll meet you
back at the car."

Walking Tracy towards the door, Nick was able to see that Natalie was
already in her car and following the coroner's van out of the park.  Only a
handful of officers remained to make sure that the crime scene was not
disturbed, and they were busy talking to each other.

With the body gone, and the departure of the forensics team, Nick was able
to get a closer look at the surroundings.  The temporarily erected
spotlights were over lighting the area causing huge shadows to fall wherever
he moved.  A commotion outside seized the attention of the officers, and
they left to assist.  Listening carefully, he was able to determine that a
few kids had tried to sneak across the yellow barrier, to try and get a
better look at the crime scene.  As the officers began to question the
youths as to the whereabouts of their parents, Nick resumed his
investigation.  There was nothing to be found where the body had been lying,
and he started to walk towards the closest of the ride's cars.  The car
looked as if it had been pushed from it's tracks.  Wondering if the original
officer at the scene had disturbed the car or if their murderer had done so
caused him to turn to inquire of the nearest officer.  Just as he was about
to summon the officer, he noticed that one of the boys that were being
questioned was becoming frightened.  Noticing the rise in the child's heart
rate, he moved to intercede, but the child fainted.  As everyone rushed to
the child's aid, Nick could hear the boy's heartbeat return to normal, and
he knew that he would come to shortly and be fine.  Returning to the
dislocated car, he noticed a small smear of blood on the side.  It most
likely was overlooked because of it's almost perfect match to the cars
color, but he could smell it's tempting scent.  Pulling out his pocket knife
and a tissue, he scrapped at the drier parts of the blood until a few small
flakes fell and were captured for later analysis.  As he placed the sample
in his pocket, he began to more closely examine the ride's car.  Moving the
heavy car effortlessly to the side allowed him to immediately notice a
bandage type eye patch clinging to one of the car's wheels.  Removing
another tissue, he carefully wrapped the important evidence, and placed it
beside the other sample as a new wave of dizziness assaulted him.
Viciously, the hunger roared to life.  He reached into his jacket
remembering that he had luckily thought to fill a small flask at home to
bring with him.  No one was around as he retrieved the silver bottle with
trembling hands, and rapidly consumed its contents.  The hunger dissipated,
but his dizziness heightened.  Feeling weak, he awkwardly clutched the car
he had been searching while he desperately tried to remain standing.  Again
his finely tuned hearing picked up a sound in a different part of the ride.
Someone else was there in the ride, he could feel it, but there was no
heartbeat.  Something very familiar was in there with him, and he ventured
further into the darkness to confront it.  Following the track on the floor,
he curved around the corner and ducked as a roomful of plastic bats on
strings fell in front of him.  Laughing at himself for falling prey to such
a lame attempt to frighten, he continued on.  Just as he recovered from the
prior unexpected trick, a large white ghost screeched towards him causing
him to lose his balance and fall to his knees.  It's long flowing sheets
hovered above him as he forcefully swung out to remove the mechanical spirit
from his field of vision.  Realizing that he did not have the strength to
stand, he crawled to the nearest car and tried to use it to pull himself up.
  The weakness was victorious over him, and he crumbled back to the floor.
Unexpectedly, the ride came to life, and he became overwhelmed by the rapid
and brilliant flashes of a strobe light.  Bringing up one arm to protect his
eyes from the pain of the harsh flickering lights, he squinted as a deluge
of white lights and the screams and howls of a sound effects tape saturated
his senses.  Through the confusion, a familiar faint voice called to him.

"Nicholas."

Dazed and wobbly, he stood in the midst of the pandemonium and angrily
shouted.

"Why do you come to me like this?  What is it that you want of me?"

Gently and calmly her words surrounded him.

"It is you Nicholas who wants to be with me.  I am here to show you the
way."

His voice became softened by her serenity.

"Alyssa, I never thought I would see you again after the Kessel house."

"Nor I you, Nicholas.  But circumstances have changed, and it is because of
that meeting that you will now be allowed to join me.  The time grows short,
and this opportunity will not last much longer.  Come now my love, and take
my hand."

The strobe light now burned fiercely in his eyes, and he closed them as he
tried to reach for her in his blindness.  Barely parting his closed eyes
from the overwhelming pain, he moved towards her and tripped over the tracks
and fell backwards as a large sheet of sheet metal swept across the room and
crashed into the wall opposite him.  The strobe's flashing and the
soundtrack both abruptly stopped as the room became illuminated by the dim
glow of the overhead fluorescent lighting.  Several officers rushed in to
discover the source of the loud crash.  As Nick began to pull himself up, he
heard the yells of one of the officers after seeing him on the floor.

"OFFICER DOWN!"

Struggling to stand, he called out to the officer.

"No, I'm fine.  I just tripped."

Nick looked around as at least a half dozen officers began to examine the
room.  One approached him after a general examination of the surroundings.

"You tripped huh?  Well you have got to be the luckiest guy around.  I was
just over there checking out that plate of sheet metal that's imbedded in
the wall.  If you had been standing up when that came loose...  Well I hate
to say it but I think it might have sliced your head clean off."

Reaching over to stabilize himself, Nick leaned his back and head heavily
against the wall.  Closing his eyes he rocked the back of his head from side
to side.  There was no strength to move.  All his energy was being absorbed
by the constant visions of Alyssa.  As he leaned against the wall, one
vision after another flooded him.  Alyssa in the loft, Nat in the loft, Nat
becoming Alyssa in the loft, and then LaCroix walking towards him with
Alyssa in his arms.  Tightening his eyes he could see LaCroix tempting him
to drink of Alyssa.  He could see Alyssa pulling him into the next world as
LaCroix laughs and calls out that there was no other world.  Then the vision
intensified as the sound of LaCroix's laughter quickened as he called out to
him that there is no redemption.  Thoughts of LaCroix's words turned to
thoughts of Natalie and her torn blouse.  Envisioning the dark circles under
her eyes, he then pictured her crying over his death.

End Part 8 of 15

Disclosures in part 1
Part 9 of 15, Lightning Always Strikes Twice (c) Gwenn Musicante 1999
[email protected]

                              ******************

The Morgue can be a pretty lonely place at four in the morning Natalie
thought as she began to pull off the blood stained latex gloves.  Lately she
felt lonely wherever she was, even when she was with Nick.  Picking up the
plastic evidence bag, she studied the small metal bullet that ended Lou
Bagley's life. The fine line between life and death never ceased to amaze
her.  Maybe that was part of the reason she was initially attracted to the
vampire that was a part of Nick.  The entire existence of vampires was
incomprehensible. Creatures that were neither alive nor dead.  Somehow,
there existed a place between the world of the living and that of the non
living.  The undead, who because of what they were could survive in timeless
eternity.  To have a physical presence, yet never have to concern themselves
with the physical problems of disease and death that plagued mankind.  What
a rare gift she had been given to be able to witness these miraculous
beings.  How many are given such a chance to observe and be a part of such
super natural events and live to remember them?  Surely, she was among the
exclusive few to behold the wonders of their powers.  It was impossible to
imagine ever tiring of watching the rapid way in which Nick regenerated
while healing.  If nothing else, he would be a researcher's dream comes
true.  But of all the super natural abilities that she admired the most, it
was the time table that they lived by that captured her interest.  To live
forever, with no time constraints, to know that there will always be a
tomorrow.  Turning back to the fire fighter's body, she clearly recalled how
only the evening before he had been discussing this case with Captain Reese.
  Now, he was lying on her table about to be dissected.  How fast life could
be over without warning, it was frightening. The only thought more frightful
was the one of living a life without meaning.

Pulling the sheet over her patient's face, she slowly walked to her desk
while still clutching the evidence bag.  After sitting down, she picked up
the bag to again view it's contents and sighed.

"Well, at least I have some more evidence for Tracy and Nick."

"Nick," she sadly whispered his name to herself as she wondered where this
life of hers was going.  Was she deluding herself into believing that he
felt the same for her as she felt for him?  There definitely seemed to be an
attraction, but was there any more to it than just that?  Maybe he really
did not love her at all.  After all, she just discovered that he had been
married before and to a mortal.  There was never in all the time she knew
him, the slightest hint towards any such arrangement with her.  So, he was
capable of falling in love, and wanting to be with someone for eternity.  He
wanted it with Alyssa, and not with her.  How many other loves and marriages
did he have over the centuries that she was unaware of?  Tears began to blur
her vision as she tried to subdue the hurtful feelings of Nick's lack of
interest in her.

Over and over he claimed to be loving her by not condemning her to his
hateful existence which he believed would damn her mortal soul.  Therefore,
he damned her to a different Hell.  A life without him.  Constant feelings
and desires that never were to be expressed.  A life without him was no life
at all. Being trapped in her world was equally as painful as he proclaimed
his darkened prison to be.

After all the years of trying, it was clear that there were only two
possibilities that remained.  One of them would have to enter the other's
world.  He could join her by becoming mortal or she could become one of the
creatures of the night.  All the options that would return his mortality to
him had been explored except for one.  They had not tried the only cure they
knew to be successful.  They had not tried Janette's actions that had
unintentionally lead to a cure.

The night he had looked at her when they had learned of Janette's cure, it
was as though he could read her mind.  He must have seen the longing in her
eyes when he approached her during the crime scene investigation.  She told
him then that she understood why he was too apprehensive to risk her in this
attempt for mortality.  But time had gone on, and now there seemed to be no
other options.  The only thing she could be sure of was that she could not
go on like this.  This was their only hope at sharing a life together.
Either he would become mortal by taking a little blood at a time, or she
would become like him and be a part of his world.  A thought immediately
flashed through her mind.  What if he took too much?  What if he killed her?
  Thinking about this possibility did not scare her.  In a way this too
would be a solution to her emptiness.  A calm came over her, she was not
afraid of death, only afraid of living a life without him.

Recalling how he brought Richard across, she remembered his tremendous
restraint.  They had held hands over Richard's almost dead body in the
hospital as Nick gave in to her insistence that her brother not die.  Maybe
she had been wrong about Richard, but she was not wrong about them.  There
was no life for her to turn back to, loving him had made this so.  A single
tear lightly traced a path down her cheek.  Looking up, she startled as she
saw Nick standing in the shadows of the doorway.  His eyes burning with a
gleaming yellow glow.

"Nick, your eyes!"

He stumbled into the lab, and went directly to the examination table so he
could lean against it without falling.  He sounded weak as he spoke to her.

"It's all right."  Rising rapidly, Nat quickly went to him and placed her
hand against his forehead.  The sensation she got from touching him was wet
and cold.  Removing her hand, she looked down to see that it was covered in
his blood.

"Nick, what happened?"

"I saw Alyssa at the carnival after you left."

"And?"

"She wanted me to come with her.  I'll have to go soon, there's not much
time."

"No Nick!  Don't you see that you're sick?  There is no Alyssa.  She died a
very long time ago."

Not knowing how to help him, she took his hand in hers and with concern in
her voice asked, "How were you able to get here in this condition?"

"I drove.  I had to get out before I was noticed, and I couldn't just leave
the car.  It was good that I had my dark glasses with me."  Feeling weak
again, he grabbed the table for support then continued.  "I was supposed to
meet Tracy, but I was hardly able to contain the beast.  I came straight
here. I'll tell Tracy that I had some evidence to give you."

Handing two tissues to her, he watched as she carefully opened the first
tissue to view the blood samples.  Then she uncovered the contents of the
second tissue to discover an eye patch.  Reaching under the table, she
pulled out a fresh evidence bag and placed the new materials inside.  Then
she looked up into Nick's waiting eyes.

"These are good, but unless this is the killer's blood and eye patch, I'm
afraid they will most likely be of no help.  I do, however, have some
information that may help.  After analyzing the residue from around the eyes
of the victims, I found that these eye patches that he uses are of a
therapeutic variety.  Most are just sold over the counter, but these are by
prescription.  Your killer may have an eye problem."

Thoughtfully, Nick responded.

"A problem that he wants to share."

Nat looked confused, "but he's using the patch to protect the eye.

"Maybe because he also has a protected eye."

Now things made a little more sense to her.  "So, you're looking for a
killer with an eye patch, and one hell of a psychiatric problem."

Looking away for a moment, Nick returned his gaze to Natalie and reached
over to her, placing a hand on each of her shoulders.

"Nat, I want to talk with you.  This is really why I came."

Although he already felt intoxicated, her scent only added to his previously
distorted perception.

"I know that something has been on your mind lately, and I want to help.
What's wrong, Nat?"

Suspiciously, she looked at him as ten thousand bottled up thoughts all
pushed to be the first to be expressed.  This was it, the opportunity that
she had been waiting for.  Eager to confess her deepest thoughts, she still
hesitated. Was he really interested, or was this attempt no more than asking
an acquaintance how they felt?  Expecting only to hear that they are fine,
and not really wishing a complete report on every ache and pain.  Mulling
over his motives, she thought how could she let this chance pass her by?  It
was time to let him know how she felt, and to find out what his sentiments
were.  There was nothing to lose.  The worst that could happen would be that
she would end up in the same situation that she was in now.  Searching his
eyes, she answered him.

"Nick, I am unhappy about our relationship.  I'm not even sure we have a
relationship.  How do you feel about me?  About us?"

"Nat you know how much I care for you.  I would protect you with my life."

"That's good, I guess."  Hoping for more of a commitment than that, she
blinked back the tears while biting her lip.  "And how do you feel about
us?"

"I am my happiest when we are together."

Breaking away from his hold, she turned away as she spoke.

"But we can not really be together can we?  Not like other couples in a
relationship."

Feeling the pain of her withdrawal from him, he spoke with a heavy heart.

"No, we can not.  I might hurt you."

Facing him once more, she tried to make him understand.

"Nick, I want a complete relationship with you."

"You know that's impossible."

Her patience turned to anger.

"Why?  Because the vampire would bite me?  Maybe kill me?"

"Nat please.  This is something that I can not do."

"But I want you to.  I want to be with you no matter what the consequences.
I want you to bring me across."

"Nat, I can't......"

Interrupting him, she knew what his reasons were.

"I know,.. you can't condemn me to your horrible existence.  Well you know
what?  It doesn't look so bad to me.  What looks bad to me is my existence,
but you don't see that do you?  Because I am mortal, so I have a soul and I
am fulfilled.  Right?  Well, I'm not Nick.  I'm empty.  I'm all used up."

Reaching out to her, he touched her hair as she twisted away.

"You are probably overtired.  This will pass."

"No!  This will not pass!  I want to be a part of your life in every way.
We tried to bring you into my world, but that didn't work.  I can not go on
like this."  Tears began to fall as her voice broke into a sob.  "Please
Nick, I need you."  Pulling her closer to him than she had ever been before,
he could feel the warmth and the form of her body against him.  He wanted to
be with her so badly that he was tempted to try, but in his present
condition he would surely lose control and the beast would overtake them
both.  It would be so easy to let himself go, to feel her sweet tender
kisses as he kissed away her tears. Summoning the strength of eight
centuries, he pulled slightly away from their embrace and gently kissed her.
  A kiss so sweet that she smiled the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.
  To stop now would be too painful.  He bent down and kissed her again, but
this time with all the passion that he had so long denied.  The beast only
stirred slightly, but he knew it was there.  It was waiting.  Waiting to
take control, and kill its prey.

So long she had waited for this she thought as she felt herself melting into
his arms.  Hungrily, she returned his kiss, only wishing to please him in
any way, no matter what the outcome.

The beast still held back as the man proceeded to love her as the vampire
knew he could not.  Each kiss filled his senses as he continued to satisfy
long overdue yearnings.  Ravenously, his longings guided his kisses down her
face and neck.  Now, he could not remember the reasons that he could not
make love to a mortal.  The control was his, he had conquered the beast.

Her breathing turned into a pant as every nerve seemed to tingle with
excitement.  Blood pounded in her head as her cheeks burned red from desire.
Making love in the Morgue wasn't exactly how she had pictured herself with
Nick, but his touches were making it impossible to really think about their
surroundings.

Something was different about him.  His restraint seemed stronger, and there
was something else, he felt confident.  Running his hands over her body, he
began to remove the surgical gown that was protecting her clothes, and let
it drop to the floor.  Then gently he eased her down on top of the gown, and
softly laid her down as he continued to kiss her.  Her breathing became
slower and deeper as she watched him straddle her and begin to unbutton her
blouse. Closing her eyes, she felt him finish with the buttons and lay on
top of her. Again he began to kiss her.  First her lips.  He then kissed his
way down the front of her neck as he moved to her chest.  Savoring each
moment, he traveled back up her body with his tongue and soft kisses.
Stopping suddenly, he became drawn to the throbbing vein in her neck, and
his fangs dropped into place.  Feeling himself leaping towards the rhythm
that her heart seemed to call out to him, he painfully pulled away.  There
were no words as she watched him rise from her and race towards the door.
The coldness and the loneliness of the Morgue returned to her.  Sitting up
in the deserted lab, she buttoned her blouse and cried until there were no
more tears and it was time to go home.

End Part 9

                              ******************

Last night had been so wonderful.  Nick had been intimate with her, well it
almost happened anyway.  At least she knew that he was interested.  They
would have to talk again soon.  The rain was again falling, but it really
didn't matter.  Working down in the Morgue made it impossible to know what
was going on in the outside world.  So far away from any living human
contact, that she could hardly remember what it was like to go for a
relaxing walk, or out to dinner.  So much was on her mind lately, and there
was no one she could discuss it with.  It was simple to recognize that the
stress of being in the mortal world and the continual interactions in Nick's
world were gaining on her.  Although falling asleep was easy, she still
always awoke exhausted. Each night lead to a more terrifying nightmare.  The
importance of psychological help right now was obvious.  But where could she
go?  Did the vampire community offer professional services?  From what she
had seen, they certainly could use some help.  Since she was pretty sure
that didn't exist, the standard remedies for treating depression popped into
her head.  A psychologist was needed, but what good would that do?  If she
went, she would not be able to talk about what plagued her.  Even if she
could express to a psychologist her difficulties, there was nothing that
could be done to help. What a mess her world had become, and no human could
help her escape from this trap.

Sitting at her computer, she leaned one elbow on the desk and stared blankly
into the monitor.  How much could she make known to a therapist?  Maybe an
anonymous letter would work.  Moving closer to the keyboard, she began to
type.

Dear Abby,

My problem is that no matter how much I try to help or whenever I try to
accomplish anything, it always turns out wrong.  For the last six years my
life has been the best and the worst it has ever been.  Six years ago I met
the man of my dreams.  Unfortunately, he was lying on a slab in my Morgue
because he had been blown to pieces.  But that wasn't the strange part for
it didn't take him long to jump up from the table and devour a pint of
nearby blood.  For some reason I decided to take his quest onto myself and
cure him of a condition in which he has endured for 800 years.  My attempts
have all proven fruitless, and I do not know what else I can do.  Half the
time I'm not even sure that getting back his mortality is what he really
wants.  Lately, he seems to be further away from his humanity than ever, and
I'm not certain that he cares.  I want to be with him, but I can't.  Why?
Because the minute he exhibits the slightest interest in me, the vampire in
him wants to take over and kill me.  I guess you can say that it's sort of
putting a damper on our relationship.  So why am I taking a chance with my
life by remaining in this situation?  Now that is the sixty-four thousand
dollar question.  There is no logical explanation.  I should have run the
moment I saw what he was, but I didn't and I still can not turn my back on
him and his community.  I love him in all ways but one, and I crave that one
physical way so that I may be a part of him and have him be a part of me.  I
know that this does not make sense, but there is no more...me.  I have
become trapped in his world, but I willingly entered this snare.  I need to
be loved by him, and I can not continue to be uncertain about the future.
Life is beginning to seem so futile, a never ending struggle.  Each day I
see the results of ignorance, suffering, and evil that my job presents.  My
suffering does not end by just watching.  I have personally experienced many
tragedies, and have come close to death.  I watched as my only sibling died
before me, twice.  Once as a mortal and once as a vampire.  My beautiful god
daughter was abused and murdered by a psychopath.  My only attempt at dating
almost resulted in my death at the hands of a serial killer.  I go in for
minor knee surgery, and the doctor has designs on my heart for
transplantation into her own dying child's body.

I always seem to be on call to the vampire community.  From saving them from
having their existence discovered to finding the solution for an anti AIDS
epidemic that was obliterating them.  All the while not knowing whether it
would be LaCroix, the master vampire, or the enforcers who wished to destroy
me first.  Things only seem to be getting worse.  Recently, I have been
dealing with the fact that my vampire boyfriend wants to follow his dead
wife of 450 years into what he believes is his salvation.  His afterlife of
eternity.  An eternity that he promised her on their wedding night.  A night
that he fears he will repeat with me if we ever become too close.

If all this were not bad enough, the darkness in him seems to be coming
stronger lately.  I have pulled him from the devil's clutches when he became
possessed, and I had to explain how a cop who was shot in the head is not
dead even though he was found to have no life signs.  Of all the trials and
tribulations that I have endured, the most traumatic was when his sister and
lover of 800 years re-entered his life as a mortal.  I don't know if I have
ever recovered from the cruel inequitableness of her transformation.  My
life is kind of hectic, and I'm starting to feel as if I'm falling apart.
So you see, I am becoming a bit disillusioned with this life.  Any
suggestions?

                                                    Sincerely,

                                                    Worn out mortal

Just as she finished typing the last words of her sham of a letter, she
heard the sound of the coroner's van unloading.  A body was being brought
in, and she reached over and tapped the delete key.  Standing in
anticipation of the crash of the gurney through the metal doors, she
secretly wished she could have sent that letter that she just erased from
the monitor.  The doors swung open with that well known sound of metal
hitting metal.  Looking down at the zipped up body bag, she sighed.

"What is it Eddie?"

"Don't really know.  Heard it was some freak accident.  A guy with a wooden
stake through his heart."

Her attention was fixed on the body as an incredulous half laugh escaped.

"What?  I thought you said a stake through the heart, Eddie.  What did
you...."

Quickly turning back to face Eddie, she saw that he had left.  Bringing her
attention back to the bag, she shook her head as she approached the bag.
Quietly she murmured to herself,

"A stake through the heart.  Great, now I'm hearing things too.  You know
Lambert, you have too much vampire on the brain."

Starting to unzip the bag, she stopped suddenly and became apprehensive.
Quickly she dismissed her fear as irrational, and allowed her curiosity to
take over.  Grabbing at the zipper, she pulled it until it was all the way
down.  Easing her way to the top again, she placed one hand on each side of
the bag and pulled it apart.  Although she tried to stop herself, she
couldn't.  She screamed and starting gasping for air.  Nick was in the bag
with a big hole where his heart would be.  Pulling the bag wide open, she
rapidly became hysterical.

"No Nick!  Don't die!  I'll get you some blood!"

Rushing to the Morgue's refrigerator, she tore open the door.  It was empty.

"What happened!  Eddie!  Grace!  Where is the blood?"

Racing back to Nick's body, she started CPR as she called out."

"Eddie!  Eddie!  We need blood!"

The door burst open, and in his hand she saw the bag of blood, and raced for
it.  Pulling hard at the bag did nothing, he was holding it too tightly.

"Give it to me Eddie."

A calm low voice answered her.

"Sorry Natalie, but Eddie is indisposed."

Nat looked up to the face that was not relinquishing the bag, and jumped
back.

"Oh my G-d!  Richard!  I thought you were.........."

"Dead Nat. That is what you were going to say wasn't it?"

Backing further away, she stared at Richard as he walked towards her with
blood covered fangs.  Holding the bag of blood at her eye level, he dangled
it before her on his outstretched arm.

"Do you need this blood for your boyfriend, Nat?  The one who destroyed me?"

"Please Richard, give me the bag."

"I was your brother, Nat. How could you let him destroy me?  I was trying to
do the right thing."

Abruptly she realized that she could not go back any further, her back was
against the gurney which held Nick's body.  Both fear and anguish fought for
her attention.

"You were wrong Richard, you would have destroyed me.  You would have
destroyed your own wife."

His voice rose, as he pointed to Nick's body.

"I was wrong?  And this is what you judge me by?"

"Please, can I have the blood?"

Smiling, Richard tore open the bag with his fangs, and allowed it to drop to
the floor.

"No, my darling sister.  I'm afraid that you have just run out."

Trying to catch the bag as it plummeted to the floor, was useless.  It hit
the floor hard, as she also dropped to the floor in despair.  Watching his
sister on the floor surrounded by the spilled blood caused Richard to laugh
as he spoke.

"Now he's dead too."

Sitting on the floor, surrounded by blood, she cried.

"No. Please, I need the blood.  No."

Sitting up startled, she began to shed endless tears.  Another nightmare.
They were becoming more disturbing.  Wishing that she would never sleep
again, she began to shake with fear.  How much more of this could her body
take?

"Oh Richard, I'm so sorry."

Tears began to burn her eyes as she thought of Nick.

"I couldn't save you in the dream, Nick.  Will there be a day when we will
not be together?  Will you die?  Will I?"

Glancing around the room, she watched the shadows from the trees dance on
the wall.  She hardly dared to breathe.

                              ******************

Every ounce of her strength was used to get dressed and go to work.  Between
the evening encounters with Nick and the non- stop nightmares all day, it
seemed doubtful that she would ever recover.  The pain from the thought of
losing Nick was so deep and prolonged, that she was certain that only those
who had experienced such despair could understand.  The hopelessness was
like nothing else she had ever experienced.  Her only longing was for a life
with him.  How much pain can a person bear?  When will there no longer be
this glimmer of hope?  What will become of the two of them?  Did anything
exist that could save her from being consumed by anguish?

The feeling was like that of drowning as she silently pleaded for someone to
throw her a lifeline.  Except for her pain of loss and feeling, everything
felt dead inside.

It was too early for her shift to begin, but she had to get out of the
apartment before being condemned to another nightmare.  The lab room where
she always worked looked as if it had not been used all day.  The lights
were out, and everything looked as if it had been cleaned.  It was so damn
quiet.  Maybe she had made a mistake by coming in early.  Well, at least,
there were no windows.  Watching the rain seemed to make everything worse,
if that somehow were possible.  Never realizing how alone she could feel at
work, she listened as each of her steps echoed on the tile floor as she
moved to her desk.  Some reports had been left for her, and she began
rifling through them.  Everything was back, but the one she was the most
interested in.

Picking up the phone, she touched the button that held one of her often used
numbers.

"Hi Jason, it's Natalie Lambert.  I came in early and I was looking for a
report on that sample that I brought in yesterday, but I don't see it.
Okay. Will you bring it to me as soon as it's done?  I really appreciate it.
Thanks."

Replacing the receiver, she sat down in the darkened room, and laid her head
heavily against the cool surface of the desk.  Even though she felt so
alone, she still liked the quiet and the knowledge that she would not be
bothered by too much activity.  Closing her eyes, she tried to wipe away all
the disturbing images of the past couple of weeks.  The hum from the vent
above her seemed almost intolerable.  Funny how she never noticed it in all
the years she had been there.  It was still better to be hearing the noise
from the vent then hearing all the rain pour down on the city.  There was
nothing to do but wait for that report or for some poor soul to be wheeled
in.  Taking in a deep breath, she hoped that she could take a short nap
without the reoccurring terrors that had lately been filling her
subconscious.

End Part 10
 

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