Forever Knight characters are owned by Sony/Tristar and are normally not this strange on the actual television program. <pity.>

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This is #5 in my Unforseen Side Affects e-mail-em'-quick-and-run stories. If you don't read them in order you may end up as klewless as a Nick at a Tupperware party. (<sigh^gt;... he's soo *cute* when he's klewless! <ahem>) #1: Unforseen Side Affects, #2: Daughter of..., #3: Daughter-in-Law of..., #4: Granddaughter of...

And now I present... story #5 (because you all pesterrr-- uh, asked so nicely): :)=

"Well, I must say, Nick, when I met you I never dreamed that I'd one day be crashing a V.I.P. government affair. And I'm not exactly dressed for the occassion."

"Just where did you get that fur vest from anyway, Nat? It smells like kind of like--"

"I spilled a soft drink on it and stuck it in the laundry basket, ok? And between dealing with these emergencies, working, and that episode with LaCroix, I've been too exhausted to keep up with the wash. The vest was lying on top."

"But.-- ?

"Sydney's taken a liking to sleeping on the laundry."

<Nick, desperate to find something else to think of besides Natalie and discarded clothing... >"Speaking of affairs, I think I've spotted our quarry."

"And not just ours by the look of it. Sheesh! No wonder Mrs. Vetter left him! He's got more hands than a river boat gambler!

<pause> Ya know... Reese looks kinda good in vertical stripes. Very slimming. I wonder where she got.. ?"

"Fantastique Lingerie and Evening Wear for Larger Ladies-- Spring Catalog. Item number 3499-02b, 100% Rayon. Available in rapturous red, blissful blue, and outrageous orange. Matching shoes and purse available on page 22. Personally, I preferred the more flamboyant number on page 12. All natural silk."

"How?! ... Oh, never mind. What are we going to do about Reese? We can't let Vetter realize who she really is-- the viewers are confused enough with all the Captain changes as it is. And we've got to find that tumbler before anyone else drinks from it."

"Tell you what, Nat--- you go extract Reese from the commissioner's charms while I hunt down the potion."

"I have a better idea. *YOU* go get yourself *fired* while I... Nick? Nick?! Arrgh! (OK, Mr. Sneaky, Coward of a Vampire, just you wait until the *next* protein shake. And I'm gonna start using garlic butter on my popcorn too!)"

"Now, Josephine, my dear, you must tell me where we've met. You look *so* familiar-- and I try never to forget a pretty face. In fact, I am simply enraptured by your beauty. Ask anything of me. Anything at all."

"Oh, Mr. Vetter--- you're such a flirt! Hmm.. Anything? Ooo... well... the precinct *could* use with a new water cooler."

"Excuse me, Mr. Commissioner?"

"Get lost, whoever you are."

"Oh, silly! It's Natalie Lambert, the M.E. How are you--- and my!-- what an... interesting ensemble: horse-hair vest over surgical scrubs? You don't get out much do you, Natalie?"

"Ah, yes-- Dr. Lambert. How nice. I'm afraid you'll have to wait your turn with me. Now, Josephine, about that cooler...?"

"Actually, I only wanted to speak privately with... with 'Josephine' here."

"She's otherwise engaged at the moment. *Later*, Miss Lambert."

"But!"

"I *said* later. Now... where were we, sugar plums?" Damn! Hmm.... <pause> well, it works for Nick. Usually.

"Oh, Mr. Vetter?"

"What is it now?!"

"Thump a-thump. Thump a-thump... look me in the eyes... thump a-thump."

"Miss Lambert.. what the heck are you doing? And what do you mean, 'thump a-thump'?"

" well, it was worth a shot."

"<sniffing> Good heavens! And what *is* that smell? It's absolutely noxious!"

"Um... that would probably be Orange Kool-Aid and formaldeyde residues.. "

"Listen, dearie, why don't you just leave right now while you're still employed?"

DEARIE?!!

<Our fav coroner, still fuming> "Men! How come I can turn the heads of pscho killers, but not someone who makes a good paycheck?"

"Nat-- There you are! I got the elixir! ... Where's Reese?"

"Oooo... Gimme that!"

"Ouch! Geez, Nat, you could have just... Naaat... why is there an evil grin plastered on your face? <pause> I'm not in trouble again, am I?"

"No... but a certain Police Commissioner is.... "

"Nat... ?"

"Yoo-hooo! Oh, Commiiiiiisssionnnerrrr...?! You simply *must* try this new mineral water... " Nat!!!

*** The End!... ok? Till something else pops up?***

Grins, :)=

Kyer, Loyal Squire(ette) to the Knight de Brabant; Knight de Soir, Cousin to the Knight, Schitzoid Knightie with Multi-Personalities, whose having a blast and an angstfest at one and the same time!