I don't own any vampires, Caddys, Cerk, or the rights to the surfing song:
Fun, Fun, Fun.
All of this was simply *for* fun, fun, fun. If your a lawyer, go chase an ambulance.

I guess the various Cousin factions might like it.
My fellow Knighties probably won't, so... <shrugs and grins> Golden bricks with fangs can be lobbied at and cheerfully ducked by: [email protected]
(And when you're done tossing things, go thank your local deity that my stuff at least is short if not painless.)

Kyer, Loyal Squire(ette) to the Knight deBrabant; Knight de Soir with (does it show?) definite leanings towards the Cousins of the Knight.

+++ Prologue +++

{{Ring!}}
"Hello?"
"Nicholas?"
Oh Heck!!!.... "um.. yeah.. about my not having.."
"Excuses, Nicholas?"
"I can explain! Their was this sniper attack at-- "
"Your mortal follies do not interest me. I *expect* a gift and I *will* receive one."
"I promise I'll shop tommorrow-- crack of twilight."
"Tommorrow will be too late. Besides, I have already chosen my gift."
(pause)
"Please... *not* the Da Vinci."
"Actually, I had another 'lady' in mind."
"Not Nat?!"
"Good Gods--- no."
"Then who--? NO. No, No, No! Absolutely Not!! Its too much! Its-- its inhuman!"
" How astute of you to notice. I will expect you to deliver her to my door by eight."
(pause)
"Are you *sure* you wouldn't take Nat instea-- ?"
{{Click}}
"Hello?"
Ah--- Heck!!!

PEEVED, PEEVED, PEEVED
(to the tune of Fun, Fun, Fun as sung by the Beach Boys)

Well, Nick got in his car and went racing over all the New World now.
Seems he'd forgotten a gift for the conversion day of his old man now.
And with his passports in hand, he goes cruisin' just as fast as he can now.
'Cause dad is peeved, peeved, peeved and he means to take the Caddy away-aay!e

Well, Enforcers are watching every city,state,town and suburb now.
(They're lookin', they're lookin' for you.)
Seems LaCroix paid them handsomely to gather up his son and that car now.
(He paid them in bloodwine, in bloodwine its true.)
And with the radio on CERK, Nick is trying to keep just one step ahead now.
(They're lookin', they're lookin' for you.)
'Cause dad is peeved, peeved, peeved and he means to take the Caddy
away-aay! (Peeved, peeved, peeved and he plans to have that Caddy either way.)

Well the tires are fried, and the gasoline is gone from the tank now.
(He tried, but the Caddy just died.) And since LaCroix took the keys, Nick's been sure that his unlife's all but thru now.
(He fled, boy--- his dad's seeing red!)
But the repairs are all done and the registration papers are changed now.
(LaCroix has his gift and he's no longer miffed.)
'Cause he's got wheels, wheels, wheels, and his son in the trunk for the da--aay!
(Yeah--- he's got Cadillac wheels and a reluctant Nick made to sta--aay!)

+++ Epi's Log (just *who* is 'Epi' anyway?) +++

"Whump! Whump!"
"Quite kicking the back seat, Nicholas-- you'll damage the material. I'll let you out tonight. Maybe."
"GRRRR"
"I think I'll play my NightCrawler tapes again. So nice to *know* for once that you *will* hear every word."
"Aaack!"
"Yes... a bit belated, but a pleasant 'conversion day' gift after all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

+++ Personal log ++++

"SQUIRE(ette) KYER!!" Uh-oh. <my latest fkfic overing is flashed in my face7gt;
"What is this?!"
"Um... paper?"
"Cute, squire(ette). Real cute. Do I need to get you a dictionary so you can look up the meaning of the words 'loyal' and 'Knightie'?"
"Actually... I have a dictionary on cd-rom. Please don't glower like that, milord--- you'll be the only vampire with frown lines. ........ I guess this isn't a good time to ask for a raise in my allowance?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Why Nicholas doesn't just move to Arizona where cars are *expected* to have heavily tinted windows is beyond me. He could have a neat-o black sports car and to heck with the trunk capacity!)